the two little pigs

In two days time, people all over the world will be surrounded by friends and family and enjoying each other's company in this festive time of the year. And presumably, this will also involve my favourite pastime: food. It's the only time of the year where it's not just justified, but expected of people to gorge themselves on a week's worth of food in a single sitting. For many, this involves Christmas ham or turkey. And for the lucky few, it involves turducken.

In our house, however, we somehow acquired the tradition of half a Chinese roast pig. I'm not sure how it started, but according to the legends (i.e. my dad), someone got sick of the inevitable ham-leftover meals and decided to order a pig from a Chinese restaurant. It turned out to be a resounding success, and now, my family spends most of the year fantasizing about the next Christmas pig. Family gatherings will inevitably lead to discussion of how much pork will be consumed, which family members are letting the team down (the dreaded salad eaters), and the next generation of rising stars.

So when my mum ordered a whole piglet two years ago, we were a little more than excited. Could our family be able to completely devour a whole animal in a single sitting, or would this little piggy get the better of us? For us, this was our Everest. Sure, we can't run that fast, and we're far off from creating the facebook, but we can damn well eat.

And after marathon seating over lunchinnerupper, we finally did it. There were obstacles to overcome (lettuce-munching cousin, I'm looking at you), but it was an incredible exhibition of teamwork at our dinner table. When my brother was finally overcome with meat sweats, or my cousins couldn't stand any more pork crackling, those on the bench got their second or third wind, piled it onto their plates and soldiered on. My dad and my uncle valiantly fought over the the scraps of pig that the others couldn't stomach. Our motley crew of 12 managed to finish that whole pig once and for all. We could all go home with our heads held high.

Family: 1, Roast Pig: 0

Our sense of self-satisfaction didn't last very long though. Returning home from our relative's place with smug, satisfied looks on our faces, my mum mentions there's one more surprise this Christmas. "I know how much you guys love roast pig, but isn't it bad that you can't eat as much pork as you want because your cousins eat most of it? That's why I ordered two pigs! One just for us!"

I looked at the pig sitting on our dining room table and my heart sank. It felt like some terrible teen horror movie where you think the bad guy has died, only to find him calmly waiting in the darkened living room.

Let's hope this year doesn't require calling for reinforcements (read: hungry friends) to finish the job. I guess as much as I love Christmas food, even I have my limits.